There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
