dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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