exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
