i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize