She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
