Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
