That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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