I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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