holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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