PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Found your dick twin last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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