She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
