So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
