party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pants are for mortals
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
