also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
