Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize
