people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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