Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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