You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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