Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
