Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Your tits are I can't wait for
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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