WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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