btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
