i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
