My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
