Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
