We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
