are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
