can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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