it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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