if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
