Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
