guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
