Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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