and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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