Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
