Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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