Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
