How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
