I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
