I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
