Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
