I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
