...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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