I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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