i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
