Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
