Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
