idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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