halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize