You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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