Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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