She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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