guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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