Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
