I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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