How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
