Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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